I am reading a book right now that is challenging my thought process. And, it is changing the way I parent… for the better.
You see… I never thought I would be a mom. Now, that is a looooong story I won’t get into now. But, let’s just say my friends who knew me before Eli, still can’t believe I’m a mama!!
Never the less, God has divine wisdom and He knew better than us. And, we have been blessed with Eli and are soooo very grateful for him!! I say all of that to let you know… Although I have read a lot of books, I in no way shape or form read any parenting books.
However, Eli is now 2 years old and it has become evident that I need to learn some new things. Up until now a lot in the realm of parenting has just been common sense. But, he is now really starting to understand and learn and grow at a rapid pace, so I figure us parents better get our stuff together! 😉
So, by chance (blessing ;)) I came across a webinar by Amy McCready. She authored the book,
I immediately bought her book, because I saw instant value in the information she presented. It JUST MADE SENSE. Oh and btw, I totally recommend it to every parent!!!
The first thing I learned is that children have a hard-wired need for attention and power. I’ll talk about the attention aspect in another post. But, for right now let me share with you my experience in the “power” department.
I was really starting to feel like there was somewhat of a power struggle going on with Eli. Although he would respectfully listen to us for the majority of the time. There were occasions where he just seemed to be testing us to see who was boss. And, being a more choleric, dominating personality, I was determined to always win.
Well…. That got me… frustrated.
You see.. children naturally feel like WE (the parents) have all the power. (Which we do in a sense.) And, in an attempt to feel “in control”, they will sometimes resort to “not listening”, “ignoring” or even throwing “temper tantrums”. Ever experienced any of that? Yeah me too.
But, what I learned is that I could make Eli feel like he has some control (and power) over his life while still maintaining control myself. And, everyone would be happier because of it. Yay! 🙂
Here is a real life example: I was cleaning the floors and placed a few rugs on the back lanai. However, this time I placed the rugs up high so Eli could not reach them. Because the last time I put them out there, he proceeded to strew them across the porch and get them dirty.
Well, Eli decided he didn’t like that he could not reach the rugs and started to throw a temper tantrum. Before reading the book, I would have had to “be the boss” and do my best to pick him up screaming and crying and bring him inside, where I would then have to calm him down. (Not my idea of a good time.)
Instead, I thought quick on my feet and asked myself… “How can I give him some “power” and let him make the choice to come inside.”
While he was still screaming, I calmly said…. “Eli would you like to play with the rugs or come inside and color in your coloring book?”
Would you believe he instantly stopped crying, hopped up and happily walked inside?!!! WOW! I was hooked. It worked!!!
Since this happened about a week ago, I have tried it multiple times and it works like a charm.
I now look for ways to make Eli feel like he has power, simply by offering him choices. By doing this, I have eliminated most of the “power struggles” in our house and boy am I more peaceful because of it!!!
How about you… Have you learned any Positive Parenting techniques you want to share??! Or do you have any Parenting books you recommend? 🙂
Till next time… Be Blessed. And, Be a Blessing!!!